Trail Mix
Quick Energy for Your Journey Through Life
Making 1 + 1 Equal More Than Two in a Relationship
There are two questions that we have to ask ourselves. The first is “Where am I going?” and the second is “Who will go with me?” If you ever get these questions in the wrong order, you are in trouble.
Howard Thurman
For all you romantics out there, the equation 1 + 1 = 1 probably sounds familiar to you. You’ve come together (or want to) with a special person who “completes” you. You and they become “as one.” And certainly “love is blind” at that point. This can feel incredible for the first part of your relationship, and you find yourself not wanting to spend any time apart. Often, this leads to “taking it to another level,” possibly even marriage, or some other intended lifetime commitment. Then, after a while, something happens. You wake up one morning and begin to ask yourself, “Where did I go?” If this is happening to you, let’s find out where you went and, more importantly, how to get you back. …
Making 1 + 1 Equal More Than Two in a RelationshipRead More »
Ask Your Doctor If a Button-ectomy is Right for You!
You have to learn to get rid of the buttons instead of the button pushers.
Yogi Amrit Desai
Our parents, our children, our spouses, and our friends will continue to press every button we have, until we realize what it is that we don’t want to know about ourselves, yet. They will point us to our freedom every time.
Byron Katie
I often talk to clients about getting rid of their hot buttons, rather than getting rid of the people who push those buttons. Imagine life without buttons, where nothing triggers your stress and you’re able to stay conscious and in your “thinking” brain rather than your “emotional” or “survival” brain. To some, this might seem unimaginable, boring, or unromantic. Whenever I am able to do this, however, I find it quite exhilarating and freeing. Try it on for size and see what you experience. …
Ask Your Doctor If a Button-ectomy is Right for You!Read More »
I Am Only Here Because YOU Think There is a Problem
What would happen if you stopped looking for solutions and check to see if there was actually a problem?
Jeff Foster
More and more, I have people coming to me believing that they have a problem when they only think they do. Maybe they’ve lived their life being told by others that they are not good enough, need to shape up or get with the program, are too sad, too anxious, too happy, too calm, too fast, too slow, too distracted, or whatever. What if they were actually doing a great job of being “perfectly themselves?” What if they’ve only been led to believe there is a problem by others who are different from them and therefore find fault in them? If everyone realized this, I’d be out of a job. So, shhh! …
I Am Only Here Because YOU Think There is a ProblemRead More »
Putting a Surgeon General’s Warning Label on Therapy
Surgeon General’s Warning: Engaging in therapy can substantially alter your perspective on yourself and the world and irreversibly change your relationships with significant others.
Are you in therapy right now, or considering it? Well, if so, get ready for a potentially life-changing experience. Be warned that, once you get into it, you may never look at yourself, the world, and other people in the same way again. Please be sure that this is what you want. Fairly quickly, you may pass a point of no return. …
Putting a Surgeon General’s Warning Label on TherapyRead More »
When You Get Better, They Might Resent You
The degree to which we have not allowed ourselves to experience the reality of our true Self is represented by our resentment toward those who have actually done so.
David Hawkins
Much like in a previous article, I provide here a warning that sets your expectations so you don’t start to believe you are doing something wrong or that you are not actually becoming healthier when you really are. Here I describe a phenomenon where certain people in your life, not everyone (hopefully), may actually resent the fact that you’re feeling better. …
The Heartbreak of Cognitive Dissonance: Is this terrible condition affecting someone you love?
When I learned about the gray existing between the black and white of absolute terms, I began to experience more peace. The more I expanded my gray areas (more than 50 shades), the more peace I experienced in my life.
David W. Earle
Do you know someone who is “black and white” on every issue? Do they refuse to be even the slightest bit flexible on an issue, even when you throw irrefutable proof of their errors right in their face? Do they continue to throw totally crazy or irrelevant arguments back at you? That someone might be suffering from (dramatic music) cognitive dissonance. …
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You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!
Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself. Chinese Proverb Dear Successful Client, I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter
Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon
One day at a time.12-step Program Saying I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half
Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article
If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist Well, you
Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”
Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.Matshona Dhliwayo When you experience
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help
We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help
The cure for covert depression is overt depression.Terrence Real In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here)
You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!
Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself. Chinese Proverb Dear Successful Client, I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter
Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon
One day at a time.12-step Program Saying I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half
Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article
If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist Well, you
Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”
Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.Matshona Dhliwayo When you experience
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help
We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help
The cure for covert depression is overt depression.Terrence Real In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here)
You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!
Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself. Chinese Proverb Dear Successful Client, I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter
Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon
One day at a time.12-step Program Saying I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half
Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article
If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist Well, you
Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”
Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.Matshona Dhliwayo When you experience
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help
We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help
The cure for covert depression is overt depression.Terrence Real In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here)
You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!
Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself. Chinese Proverb Dear Successful Client, I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter
Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon
One day at a time.12-step Program Saying I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half
Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article
If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist Well, you
Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”
Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.Matshona Dhliwayo When you experience
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help
We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help
The cure for covert depression is overt depression.Terrence Real In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here)
You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!
Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself. Chinese Proverb Dear Successful Client, I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter
Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon
One day at a time.12-step Program Saying I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half
Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article
If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist Well, you
Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”
Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.Matshona Dhliwayo When you experience
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help
We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help
The cure for covert depression is overt depression.Terrence Real In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here)
You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!
Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself. Chinese Proverb Dear Successful Client, I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter
Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon
One day at a time.12-step Program Saying I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half
Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article
If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist Well, you
Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”
Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.Matshona Dhliwayo When you experience
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help
We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help
The cure for covert depression is overt depression.Terrence Real In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here)
You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!
Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself. Chinese Proverb Dear Successful Client, I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter
Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon
One day at a time.12-step Program Saying I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half
Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article
If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist Well, you
Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”
Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.Matshona Dhliwayo When you experience
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help
We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often
The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help
The cure for covert depression is overt depression.Terrence Real In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here)