Your Relationship as a Hero’s Journey
You could view each of your relationships as a Hero’s Journey (including your relationship with
yourself). You might be married, engaged, in a committed relationship, dating, living together,
divorced, have a child together, be parent and child, siblings, friends, relatives, neighbors,
business associates, or just any two people who have some form of relationship or connection.
Each of these involves a Journey, or quite a few Journeys in some cases.

Relationship Calls to Adventure
As stated on another page, you may be struggling with a close relationship: every interaction
with the person ends in an argument; or you feel afraid the person might hurt themselves or do
something bad; or you feel unclear about whether you love them anymore, or whether they
love you; or you used to love them a lot, but now you can't stand them; or they do things that
you just do not understand; and so on.

Your Expert Guide
Anyone who wants more satisfaction from a relationship can benefit from relationship
counseling. Many who seek such counseling from me either want me to change things about
the other person (impossible), want to voice a laundry list of complaints about the other person
(harmful), or want to learn some tools to help them communicate better with the other person
(probably not enough).

Some activities you may find more useful in the long run include:

  • Getting to know the other person in your relationship much better so you can decide
    how you want to proceed with your life and your relationship.

  • Learning how gender characteristics or differences (and there are many) play a role in
    your relationship. Take a look at this article for more information about this.

  • Discovering changes you can make yourself that will increase the level of satisfaction in
    your life and, hopefully, in your relationship.

  • Remembering or updating the purpose of your relationship and determining how you
    can contribute to that purpose without losing your "self" in the process.

  • Discovering how you are doing compared to where you should be in the development of
    your relationship and how you can get back on track.

Lastly, I want to emphasize the fact that I stand by the concepts of marriage and
commitment. If you are married or in a lifetime commitment, I will work with you to help repair
and strengthen your relationship. On the other hand, after working on staying together, if
splitting up seems like the right thing to do, I will help you do that too. I have been married for
over 30 years, yet I also have been divorced. So, I know both sides of this coin.

Please call me at
760.354.9140 to discuss any of this further or if you feel like getting started.
Therapist Journey
There are two questions that we have to ask
ourselves. The first is "Where am I going?" and
the second is "Who will go with me?"  If you ever
get these questions in the wrong order, you are
in trouble.
~ Howard Thurman


I see love as two mature people walking
parallel paths, profoundly respecting the
essence of the other, honoring the differences
in each other, and giving each other space
to develop their own uniqueness.
~ Marion Woodman


I didn’t marry you because you were perfect.
I didn’t even marry you because I loved you.
I married you because you gave me a promise.
That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up for mine.
Two imperfect people got married and it was the
promise that made the marriage.
And when our children were growing up,
it wasn’t a house that protected them;
and it wasn’t our love that protected them,
it was that promise.
~ Thornton Wilder
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